?Light-skinned man, Tall and attractive and Dark-skinned man, Short and average looking man, both of mid-aged sits at the front row in the church, talking continuously whilst the priest preach.

D.S Are you going to get some tonight?

L.T (flipping through the bible) What?

D.S Are you going to get some? You know, some action.

L.T Oh. Oh. Yeah

D.S I’m not.

L.T You what?

D.S I said I’m not going to get some tonight.

L.T Some what?

D.S (irritated) Some action. For goodness-sake are you listening?

L.T Yeah, of course I’m listening. I was just reading this passage, it says: ‘do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at himself in the mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like’.

Laughs

D.S What’s so funny?

L.T (still laughing) this is (points to the bible). Who doesn’t know what they look like straight after looking in the mirror.

D.S I’m sure we all do. What’s that got to do with what I was saying?

L.T What are you saying?

D.S I was saying that (thinking. Gives up) oh, never mind

D.S looks around and search through his pockets

L.T (pulls out a sex magazine) Looking for this?

D.S (trying to hide the magazine, looks around embarrassed) what are you doing bringing it out like that? Can’t you see that we’re in church and at the front sits for that? Where did you get it?

L.T You left it in the toilet. I knew it was you because, well, it wouldn’t be like you to not bring sex magazine to church. You do it every Sunday and every Sunday you take more than ten minutes in the toilet, so I knew it was you.

D.S looks around before pulling out the magazine and stuffing it inside his notebook so that when he opens it, it looks like he’s reading his notes

D.S Thanks. But why didn’t you tell me you had it. The preacher man is talking in tongue and I haven’t got a clue as to what he’s saying.

L.T So you're going to read a sex magazine?

D.S Hey look maybe if I had your looks, I wouldn’t need this magazine and it’s not like I’m having sex in...

L.T ...church?

D.S flip open the magazine, licks his lips. He tries to stand but recognises where he is, sat back down slouching

D.S Yeah.

D.S licks his lips once more before closing his eyes and rubbing his privates. He slowly begins to move his hand toward L.T’s leg and begins stroking it

L.T (alerted) what in heaven’s name are you doing?

D.S slowly sits up straight, open his eyes and yawns

Is it that bad?

D.S That bad? The man wants to know if it’s that bad. You have no idea.

L.T You know you can just ask her to give you some instead of waiting for her to give in.

D.S Give in? Ask? You don’t ask, do you? You just get it without asking.

The priest is heard at the background asking the church to stand for the last prayer. D.S and L.T stands closing their eyes, mumbles a prayer. ‘Amen’ all over the church indicates that they open their eyes.

The priest (approaching D.S and L.T) Gentlemen, I think you’re forgetting something (he pulls out the sex magazine which had fallen out when they stood for the last prayer) I believe this belong to you (filled with embarrassed, D.S takes the magazine) I must say I’m impressed; you two gents are up to date, you’re keeping up really good. Not many men keep with this magazine week in, week out. I stopped getting them in the fifth week. My wife found them you see. When she asked who it belonged to I simply said ‘maybe one of your sons’. You see, I wasn’t going to say it was me, what would she think? What would anyone think? You understand? So it wasn’t technically lying. No no no, it wasn’t lying. It was being creative, you see with this sort of staff, you need to be creative and that’s the key: be creative. I must go now gentleman. You have a nice time with that. Be careful and remember to be creative.